


Be My Mistake

by seunniechan



Category: SEVENTEEN (Band)
Genre: Angst, Be My Mistake, Hoshi is Whipped, Implied/Referenced Cheating, M/M, fuck buddies!soonhoon, how to tag :(
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-12-23
Updated: 2020-12-23
Packaged: 2021-03-11 01:22:07
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 636
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/28256865
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/seunniechan/pseuds/seunniechan
Summary: The moment Soonyoung agreed to this set-up, he knew that the pain he'll be facing will be far more than the happiness he felt throughout those times with the guy in front of him.
Relationships: Kwon Soonyoung | Hoshi/Lee Jihoon | Woozi
Kudos: 13





	Be My Mistake

**Author's Note:**

> So basically this was written after listening to that one The 1975 song. Enjoy the pain.

_[Be My Mistake](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Onby3d2lFDc) _

The moment Soonyoung agreed to this set-up, he knew that the pain he'll be facing will be far more than the happiness he felt throughout those times with the guy in front of him.

He knew.

He's expecting it already. But maybe when the exact moment hit you like a truck, the expectations won't lessen the weight his chest is dealing with right now.

"Soonyoung, let's end this. I can't bring myself to lie anymore. I love him... so much."

_'What about me?'_ He wanted to ask but it just became a lump in his throat.

Soonyoung smiled softly and nodded. He pulled Jihoon close to hug him. He can feel his throat tightening and his intake of breath shortening but he's not crying. He breathed in. He'll miss this guy's soft hair, his scent, and ...him.

_'I love you too, Jihoon. So damn much,'_ Soonyoung whispered to himself.

Why are they not coming out? Soonyoung asked to himself, pertaining to his tears.

It should be racing down his cheeks just like Jihoon's.

Isn't it supposed to hurt like that by now?

Soonyoung hated how he can only hear Jihoon's sobs instead of his laughter. The only thing that he wants is for the person in front of him to be happy. Even though Soonyoung is not the reason behind it.

In between Jihoon's sobs, "I'm sorry, N-nyong," he muttered.

Soonyoung felt his shirt getting soaked because of the smaller guy's tears. So he rubbed soothing circles on Jihoon's back, placed a warm hand on his nape and whispered softly, "It's fine, Ji."

"I'm fine as long as you are happy. As long as he can put a smile on your lips and he can wipe your tears for me."

To other people, the person who's wrapping Jihoon around his arm is just the third-party. The past-time. That someone who's idiotly willing to fill up Jihoon's wounds and holes.

Soonyoung settled for that. He was alright with it. Because for him, being with the person that he loves matters the most. Not his own feelings. Neither his own desires.

So when Jihoon asked him to be his mistake, Soonyoung gladly accepted.

His heart was happy. It jumped because of too much happiness. Sure, the guilt was there.

Fuck guilt.

At-least this way, Jihoon can see him.

Soonyoung can show how much he loves the producer.

He felt too much happiness and it got him blinded that he forgot Jihoon doesn't feel the same way.

For Jihoon, Soonyoung is just a substitute. A plaster to his cuts.

Soonyoung got blinded and ignored how he can only give warmth to Jihoon when his boyfriend is giving him cold-shoulders.

He should've tattoed on his mind that Jihoon won't look at him the same way he does. He should've known... because right from the start, their hearts weren't beating in the same soothing rhythm.

The other screams loneliness, the other is love.

When Jihoon left and walked away from his unit, Gods know how much Soonyoung wants to hold on to him.

How he wants to rush towards him and ask him not to go. How he wants to whisper bunch of 'I love you's' to Jihoon's ear. Because that's what the latter deserves.

He just stood there, praying that Jihoon won't stop to look back at Soonyoung. Because he might run towards him, he might hold on to him and beg him to stay. To choose him. To love him.

Should Soonyoung be thankful?

The Gods must've heard his prayer this time.

Jihoon didn't stop walking neither did he look back.

Soonyoung was left there. Knees weak and eyes filled to the brim with tears.

An exhausted sigh escaped from him. There, he can finally feel the pain that he was expecting from the very start.

**Author's Note:**

> If you reached this point, I just want to say thank you for reading! Please don't hate me for this...? :(( 
> 
> This was a result of stress from school works and random playlists appearing on my spotify account. 
> 
> Kudos and comments are very much appreciated! I will treasure it all :( <3 
> 
> Again, thank you! <3


End file.
